Plump Girl discusses confidence with Secret Agent Man (aka her husband)
Confidence. This is a difficult quality to obtain. I thought it would be fun to “interview” Secret Agent Man (aka my husband) about his role in my journey to self-confidence.
I know that not everyone has a significant other and even if they do, that person might not push them the way my husband has pushed me. That’s okay! You don’t need a significant other to make yourself believe how beautiful and valuable you are. You can do that on your own! You can be your own and biggest cheerleader!
We’re all different and that’s a good thing; it means we can learn from each other. Our own eyes can be opened based on the experience of another.
My husband can be a man of few words but when we started this interview, the gates just opened up!
PG (Plump Girl): How long did you think about me changing the way I saw myself before you tried to do something about it?
SAM (Secret Agent Man): A couple of years.
PG: A couple of YEARS?
SAM: Yes. I tried to just say something and give hints like “be girly” and “being girly is a good thing.”
PG: How did you finally get me to start to look at myself differently?
SAM: We watched more and more YouTube. One morning I looked up Plus Size Fashion and a bunch of stuff came up. I watched a few of the videos by myself and I thought it might help. It took you a few tries to even be open to watching videos but you finally did and you ended up enjoying it.
PG: What would you have done if I didn’t change anything?
SAM: Nothing. I would have just kept trying. I wouldn’t have been disappointed or anything and I would have loved you the same.
PG: Did you expect my confidence to grow as much as it has?
SAM: No. I just wanted to help you and I didn’t know if it would or not.
PG: Are you pleased with the outcome over the last year and a half?
SAM: I am very pleased but I’m surprised that it would go this far. People say it’s hard to change someone. But with you, as soon as you started to realize that other women were going through the same thing, it was like day and night.
PG: Why do you think that is?
SAM: Probably because it’s society telling you that you’re not pretty. Don’t get me wrong, we should probably lose weight but the best way of doing that is to first actually think positively about yourself. If you’re always told you’re ugly and fat, you’ll deal with that pressure and it ends up being a circle.
PG: Do you think that you pushed and pushed and I finally gave in, was the rest me?
SAM: It was definitely you but I like that you always ask. But, if you don’t have a significant other, or even a friend to help you push, you have to do it yourself.
PG: Do you think that my confidence is superficial?
SAM: No. You are confident as a person. You were confident in yourself and your intellect before but the way you thought about your appearance is where you weren’t confident. This has just filled the gap or closed the circle.
PG: What do you like about what I’ve learned about plus size clothing:
SAM: I like that you’re not worried about the sizes. You’re just like “okay, that’s it. That’s what I am.”
PG: What is your favorite part of my body?
SAM: Your legs.
PG: Does it make you sad that my boobs point south?
SAM: Huh? No.
PG: Did you expect me to become interested in makeup as well?
SAM: No. That was a bonus. I hadn’t even thought about it and I thought it was great that you were interested in makeup. Makeup is great if it’s done the right way. It’s there to accentuate your beauty and not cover it up. You’ve done well with it and it’s great.
PG: Did you think I’d become a makeup and clothing addict?
SAM: No. But, it’s a good thing. I like it. I have a wife that wants to look good and she wants to know if I think she looks good. It can be taken the wrong way that makeup and clothing can make you more beautiful. But, more importantly, it makes you proud of yourself. And, to most men, if a woman is confident and she looks like it through her fashion and makeup, that is what a man looks for. I don’t understand when women wear almost nothing. It doesn’t look as good as a woman who is confident about herself. I don’t think it’s preference. I think most men are that way.
PG: When I do my makeup, and I don’t do it everyday, what do you like?
SAM: I like it natural and not really knowing it’s there. I like when it accentuates your eyes. I know I probably shouldn’t say this but when we met (11 years ago) until the last few years, you’ve had problems with sweating (I have hyperhydrosis which means I sweat buckets especially from my head and hairline). And, that, because of the makeup, you’ve pretty much gotten rid of that. You’ve learned how to help mask it and decrease it.
PG: See, I don’t’ think I have.
SAM: I notice. When we dance or are close, it’s definitely different. You may still have it but it isn’t as apparent.
PG: Do you wish that I would learn how to wear heels?
SAM: That would be fun.
PG: Are you opening a whole new door? You’ve opened the door to makeup and clothing, do you want to add shoes to that list?
SAM: Let’s wait a year.
PG: What is your favorite part about my face?
SAM: Your eyes. I’ve always liked them. And your makeup makes them stand out.
PG: A man in the gas station told me the other day that I look beautiful. What do you think about that?
SAM: It makes me feel proud.
PG: What about people who don’t have a significant other or if they do, maybe that person won’t push like you did? You shouldn’t have to have someone in your life to help with this.
SAM: No, you shouldn’t. Honestly, YouTube is great for stuff like this. It opens up doors and makes people be able to relate to others who are going through the same thing.
PG: Is there anything else you would like to say to the Plump Girl audience of three?
SAM: Just be proud of yourself. Enjoy life. Get on YouTube and don’t let it get you down. Look at it as a positive. It’s time to push the stores through the use of the internet to offer more plus size clothing and push the boundaries.